It's Your Choice Today...

Well, today you get to choose...you can choose fun and giggles and easy going. If that's what you're in the mood for, click HERE for a list of fun pictures and videos to check out. I've been looking through them myself this morning. It's amazing how my kids have changed just in the few short months that I've been blogging!

But if you're in the mood for the real Daiquiri, well, it's not quite as much fun. Quick...go click on the videos if you don't want yucky stuff! Go...now...I won't hold it against you or be offended, I promise.

So what's going on?

One of our loved ones was in a car accident. A don't know if she'll ever walk again or what she'll be like when she regains consciousness kind of accident. My heart is just broken. I don't know who is suffering more right now...Becky (please pray for her recovery), or her mom. Honestly, I'd rather be in Becky's place than her mom's.

How does a mom function through something like this? How does she sleep? How does she eat? How does she breathe? How does she smile or laugh ever again with her daughter lying in a bed in the ICU?

When something like this happens so close to home, I'm always disappointed and ashamed to see just how small and weak my faith really is. Instead of just resting in a big God who I know loves me and can heal and comfort...I always go straight to "WHY?" or "ARE YOU EVEN THERE?" or "WHY BOTHER TO PRAY IF YOU'LL LET THIS STUFF HAPPEN ANYWAY?"

I'm sorry for even saying the words. Who am I? Who am I that he should love me and bless me the way he does...that he should die for me that I can live in Heaven for all of eternity? Who am I to doubt and question and demand answers? Who am I to even try to understand the workings of God?

I'm just little ol' me. Someone who wants to believe that her children are protected by a big, loving God. Someone who wants to believe that stuff like this doesn't happen to our family.

And then it does.

And I don't know who to be then.

I don't know who to be because I know I'm in HIM...only now I don't really know who He is. So what to do? Will you pray with me?

Oh, Lord. Please hear our prayers. Hear our small voices crying out to you.
Be big for us, Father.
Be big to save.
Be big to heal.
Be big to bring comfort.
Be big to give us peace that we can't even understand.
Forgive my fear, Lord. Forgive my doubt and questions.

But most of all, Lord...please be with Becky today. Heal her, Lord. You know every hair on her head. You know precisely what is wrong with her body. You can make it whole again. If it's your will, then that's what I ask for. Heal her. Heal her. Please.

And Lord, be close to June. Tuck her under your wing and comfort her. Help her to be strong and to find peace in you. She needs to feel you close. Heal her baby, Lord.

And for everyone else who loves Becky, be near them. Be near them even though they feel afraid and maybe angry that this happened. Be near them in their helplessness.

Be big for us, God.
I just don't have the words. Give me the words...let your Spirit work through me.

And just one other thing, if you please. I don't know who in this family knows you or not. I mean, really knows you...not just knows of you or believes in you...but truly knows and trusts and loves you. Reveal yourself to all of us, Lord. Strengthen those of us who are shaken in times like these. Save those who do not know you.

I love you, Lord. Sometimes I fear you. Sometimes I don't trust you. Sometimes I wonder if you're even real. But at the end of the day, I know you are. I know you are trustworthy. I know you are loving. I know you are with us and are heart-broken right along with us.

I pray all of this, and more, in the name of Jesus...the one you sent for us so that we could draw near to you without fear or condemnation. Amen.


PS. The Becky I'm talking about is NOT my friend Becky (sorry for any confusion)