My Very Own Loaves & Fishes Miracle!

I've debated for over a month about whether or not to tell you this story. I finally decided I can't keep it to myself any longer. I just love it when God works so beautifully and obviously...I couldn't not share!

Before I start...why did I hesitate to share? Because I don't know that I can do God justice. I don't know that I have the words to express how awesome He is. I don't want this story to seem like it's about me in any way, except that I am honored and privileged to be His kid. Please know that this is a story about Him, not about me.

It all started when I went to a home improvement store at the beginning of last month. Garden plants, flowers, soil, gardening gloves...that's the kind of stuff that was on my list. I love to plan my garden, flower pots, and beds. On my way into the store's parking lot, though, I noticed an elderly homeless man sitting on his chair holding his "Will work for food" sign.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the homeless. Although I can't always give them money or buy them a lunch, I do at least try to look them in the eye, smile, and wave. I want them to know that they've been seen...that they are at least worthy of a kind greeting.

Admittedly, I've become a bit more jaded over the years. My first reaction isn't always love and compassion like it once was. I often think, "I"m not giving them money, they'll just go spend it on something foolish." And sometimes my reaction is just plain fear. I fear getting too close...will they try to harm me or my children? Are the car doors locked?

But that beautiful spring day, I felt an odd pull to that old man sitting on the corner with his "Will work" sign. There was just something so frail and quiet about him. "Work?" I thought. "Doing what? He looks like he could topple over at any second!"

So do you know what I did? I did my shopping, loaded my car with all my goodies...and drove home.

I scolded myself all the way home...I should have at least stopped to buy the poor old guy lunch.

I got home and unloaded all my garden stuff...tomatoes, onions, peppers, soil, fertilizer, flowers, seeds...but no garden gloves. Where were my gloves? I'd left them at the store. Dang.

So I headed back to the store. On the way there I promised that I'd stop by to offer him lunch if he was still sitting there. He was. Again...dang.

It took me a few minutes to get the gloves I'd paid for but forgot to bring home. I got back to my car, dropped off my gloves, said a quick prayer, and headed over to talk with the old man.

"Hi there, can I sit with you for a minute?"

"Well, sure!", was his surprised answer.

"My name is Daiquiri, what's yours?"

"Gary"

"Hi Gary. How are you today?"

"Oh, alright."

I sat on his little cooler that he'd offered me as a chair. For a second, there was uncomfortable silence as we both sort of inspected each other from the corners of our eyes. It was then that I saw the little picture taped to the back of his "Will work" sign. It was a picture of Jesus.

"I see that you have a picture of Jesus on your sign. Do you know the Lord?"

"Oh, yes. I know him and he knows me. I'm not sure why he's got me in this situation, but as long as my social security check falls short of my rent by $200, I'll be sitting here asking for help."

"Well, at least you have him to keep you company, eh?"

"Yes ma'am!", he said with a big, toothless smile and a twinkle in his eye.

From there, the conversation was easy. He explained how his money had run out, and how his social security check didn't quite cover his expenses. He told me that he's a diabetic. And he was quick to tell me that he's "Not one of those fellas who's into the booze or weed. Just smokes. I know it's a bad habit, but I just can't seem to quit it." At one point, he even had me stand up so that he could show me what was in his little cooler. All that it contained was some prescription medicine (his diabetes meds), a half eaten box of chicken nuggets, and a pack of cigarettes.

But by that point in our conversation, I didn't need any reassuring. The clarity in his speech, the spunk in his attitude, and the twinkle in his eye was enough to tell me that he was just an old man down on his luck.

I offered to buy him lunch, but he turned me down. He said that someone had just brought some chicken nuggets and that was enough for him to get by until dinner time. He didn't want me to waste money on food that would go un-eaten. "Besides, you stopping to talk to me was better than food anyway."

Our conversation eventually dried up, and I said goodbye and headed back to my car. As I walked across the busy Saturday parking lot, I was thinking about how much money I might be able to spare from our budget. Since it was the beginning of the month, I had a wallet crammed with cash...a result of our new "all cash" spending plan. But I also knew that when the money was gone, that was it. No going to the bank for more if I didn't plan carefully.

I got in my car, locked the doors, and pulled out my wallet. "Okay, Lord. I know I'm supposed to give him some money, but how much?" I sorted through the cash in my "groceries" section of my wallet. I had lots of different denominations there. $5? $10? $20? Five dollars seemed far too little. Twenty seemed like too much. I settled on ten, and was trying to convince myself that ten would do it. Ten bucks doesn't sound like a lot, but it's a week's worth of milk for this 4 gallon per week family. It's taking my kids to get burgers one day for lunch. It's a few pounds of meat.

But I just had a sick feeling in my stomach. Despite my best efforts to make myself feel good about giving my new friend $10, I just didn't.

So I prayed, "Lord, help me out! How much should I give him?"

And that quiet voice said to me, "How about $100?"

I laughed aloud! A hundred dollars?! There was no WAY I could make it to the end of the month with a full hundred dollars missing from my budget. No WAY.

So I went back to sorting. Again, I contemplated $5. Again, I contemplated $20. Again, I settled on giving him $10. I held it in my hand...and again felt positively lousy. I prayed again, "How much, Lord?"

The response? "You heard me."

Oh, sweet Jesus. I was just about to give a complete stranger...a homeless man on the street corner that I'd just met 10 minutes ago...I was about to give him $100?!?! But I had my instructions, so I grabbed the $100 bill, folded it so he couldn't see what it was right away, and headed back to talk to the old man.

"You again?" he said with that sweet, toothless grin.

"Yep. I hope I'm not bothering you."

"Not at all."

"Okay, good. I just wanted to tell you something. I want to tell you that I went back to my car over there, and prayed for you. I prayed for wisdom. I prayed for instruction as to how much money I might be able to spare to give to you."

"Well, that's awful nice of you."

"Now, money is tight and I have 4 little ones at home. $10 is a lot of money for me to give. But when I prayed, I got pretty clear instruction that I am not supposed to give you $10. I'm supposed to give you a bit more."

"Really?" (he was looking at my hand, undoubtedly curious about what it contained)

"The only reason I tell you that $10 is a lot of money for me is because I want something to be really clear: if it were up to me, I would have given you $10. But the Lord told me to give more. I want it to be really clear that the Lord is looking out for you, and that this money is from HIM. You are precious to Him, and He wants to help you today. Like I said, I was ready to give $10...nothing more. So this money, is straight from Him to you."

"Can I give you a hug?" he said with teary eyes.

So we shared a brief hug, I kissed him on the cheek, and I passed the money into his hand. I walked away before he could look at what it was.

As I walked away I prayed, "Okay, Lord. I'm gonna need your help with the budget this month!" But I was on cloud nine. I couldn't have been happier to have been used to care for that precious man.

And then the month went on. Groceries. A trip to Wisconsin, and all the associated travel money. Toothpaste. Toilet paper. Utility bills. A birthday gift. The expenses didn't exactly taper off despite my growing anxiety that we weren't going to make it to the end of the month.

On top of all that, I hadn't told my husband what I'd done. Partly, I didn't want to tell anyone because I felt that it was between me and God. I didn't want a pat on the back for it. And honestly? Partly, I was beginning to wonder if I'd imagined the whole "conversation" and just made a foolish and expensive mistake. And of course, I didn't want my husband to start worrying about trusting our families finances with me...handing out $100 bills to random homeless men on street corners!

I was sweatin' it!

And finally, a week before the end of the month...the money ran out. Zero. Gone. Zilch. Nada. Completely gone.

I was driving home from the grocery store with what I'd just purchased with our last dime for the month, and I was wondering how I was going to stretch the groceries to last through the month. On the way home, I stopped at the mailbox to grab the mail.

You will never guess what was in that mailbox.

Evidently, we'd been carrying a slight balance (in our favor) on our Costco AMEX card, and they decided to cut us a check for it. We got the check that day. And guess how much it was for? It was a check for an even $90...exactly the amount that the Lord told me to give above the $10 I was planning on giving.

I was instantly covered in goosebumps and crying. God is so good. And such a punk for making me wait 'till the last second like that! I told him so...and then I thanked him. Can you imagine? The God who put every last star in it's place...knows me and my life enough to plan the arrival of a $90 check for precisely the perfect moment.

That's my sweet story. I hope it blessed you. I hope that it helped you see that God is still in the business of miracles. And I hope it reminded you that He's looking out for his little ones...even the ones who feel a bit abandoned and have to beg for money to make ends meet.


"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27


"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31