A Letter To The President (Economy)

Dear President Bush,

Hello, Sir. How are you today? I just thought I'd drop you a line to say...you are very welcome. No really, it was my pleasure. I was just doing my part to stimulate the economy like you planned. I did it for you, you know.

All those cute shorts and capris I found and TJMaxx yesterday? I bought them for you...well, for me to wear...but for you and your economic plan, really.

And then I decided that shorts and capris might not do enough for our economy, so I headed over to the mall. To Eddie Bauer to be specific - my favorite store on the planet. I know that I'm a solid size "M" in an Eddie Bauer shirt, and always a size 10 in their pants and shorts. I don't even have to try anything on! I can just wander the store, grab the lovely duds in my size, and head straight to the cash register to do some more economy stimulating.

And then there are the shoes. I saw that Payless was having a buy-one-get-one-half-off sale, so I brought my 5 year old little girl with me and I taught her how important it is to do our part in supporting the health of our economy. What better way to do that then half off shoes? I really can't think of a way.

What's that, you say? But you haven't given me my "economic stimulus" check yet? Oh, I know. But this is America...how best to show my patriotism than to charge everything and then cross my fingers that the check gets here before the bill? It would be downright un-American to do it any other way!

Besides, I was desperate. I haven't bought myself summer clothes in 4 years! I'm not kidding. Last summer I was pregnant with my little Thomas. The summer before that Eddie Bauer had terrible summer colors, and I just couldn't find anything. The summer before that I was pregnant with Samantha. So it was the summer before THAT that I bought new summer clothes...the summer of 2004...4 years ago! Everything I had in my closet was either very worn, didn't fit, or was downright ugly. Like I said, I was desperate.

But that's just the guilt trying to justify spending all that money. I just have to focus on the greater good...the economy of the United States of America.

Well, I know you're busy trying to run the country and dealing with all that stuff going on in Iraq (I have some questions for you about that, actually. I'll save it for another time though), so I'll bring this to a close now.

Thank you for allowing me the honor of helping to support our great nation's financial well-being. If you ever have another economic stimulus plan like the one you just put together...well, then I'm your girl. You can count on me to take one for the team and spend every last dime of that closet...I mean economic...stimulus check.

Just call me a patriot.

Have a very nice day, Mr. President.

Sincerely,