Because He Loves Us Best

I was thinking the other day about how my priorities have changed since having kids. I know...no duh! Of course priorities change when you have kids. But I'm not talking about scenarios like, "what's more important: dishes or reading books to my 2 year old?" Those are no brainers (although much harder to follow through on sometimes than I thought!).

At the risk of sounding morbid, I'm talking about worst case scenarios. Am I the only one who thinks about "worst case"? Are you wondering what the heck I'm talking about? Yeah, me too. I'm having a hard time putting this one into words for some reason. I'll just spit it out already.

Before the kids came along, I would think thoughts like "I would rather die than have my husband die. I'd truly rather be dead than to live without him."

See what I mean? Morbid. I can't help it though. It's just the way my brain works. Bear with me...there's a point, I promise.

But now, things have changed. Now, my worst case scenario priorities are the following: "I would rather die than have one of my children die (obviously)" and...sorry hubby... "I would rather my husband die than have me die."

Oh my. Are you gasping in horror? I sorta am. I can't believe I wrote that down.

Now, make no mistake. If my husband were to die, I would be...devastated... ruined... heartbroken. He's my very best friend. I love him desperately. The Bible says that two shall become one, and I truly feel that he is part of me. Without him, I am not whole. I would never be all better again without him at my side.

So why would I say such a thing?

The reason I'd rather lose my husband than for me to die is out of an all consuming and bigger than life love for my children.

There are two aspects to this whole thing:
1. I love my children so much, that I can't imagine being separated from them. I want to be with my children...for me.
2. AND I would rather endure the incredible, heart wrenching loss of my husband...so that my kids would still have me. Because I am the one who loves them BEST. No one can or will love them like I do. (Although hubby might argue...he probably feels the same way) I want my children to have me...for them.

OK. NOW TO THE POINT:

Does this sound at all familiar to you? To me, it sounds an awful lot like a reflection of God's love for us.

1. God loves us very much, and does not want to be separated from us. He wants us... for Him.
2. AND God would rather suffer incredible...mind numbing...all consuming agony. He'd rather suffer for us so that WE CAN HAVE HIM. He lived and died the way He did because he is the greatest lover of our souls, and he knew that without what he did, we'd never be able to truly have Him. He knew that if we didn't have Him, we'd never be fully loved and we'd feel an empty hole where His love is meant to be. No one or no thing can offer us anything close to what He offers us...His perfect love. The love that we were designed to receive...the love that we are never whole without. He wants us to have His love...for us.

Does this make sense to anyone but me? If not, I'm sorry. Tune in tomorrow for something much more lighthearted...I promise. My brain hurts anyway.