I Guess It's Goodbye...

Thomas and I are off to Wisconsin tomorrow morning. My alarm is set for (gulp) 4:30 AM. Gag.

I hate saying goodbye to my kids. Why am I so afraid when I have to fly without them? Hubby and I were talking about how I don't think twice about running to the store, when there is a far greater chance of me dying on the way to the store than there is of me dying in a plane crash. Heck, there's a greater chance that I'd fall and hit my head and die at the store! There's a greater chance that I'd be shot to death at the store!

In fact, do you know how many Americans died in commercial plane crashes last year? Zero.

And did you know that there is a greater chance that you will die in an ox-powered cart crash, than in a plane crash? Yes, an ox. A big, hairy animal...pulling a cart. More dangerous than tons of steel flying through the air.

You'd think that I'd feel safe since I know how flying works. I studied engineering in school...I get the mechanics of how they get the thing in the air. I can see why it's so safe.

But when it's me or someone I love? When it involves my children being without their one and only Mommy? Scares me to death.

In fact...you're going to think I'm crazy...but I actually wrote half a post titled "Well, I guess I'm dead!" It was a big long love letter to my family...I just kept getting choked up and decided I was making myself sick for nothing, so I deleted it (I was going to schedule it to publish several days after my return...if I made it home, I'd delete it...if I didn't...well, you get it).

I told hubby about it. Then I went on and on about how much I love him and the kids, and how he's a great daddy, and how even if something happened to me that he should try to find love in his life, and tell the kids every day how much Mommy loved and adored them. I also told him that I know he'd do a great job of taking care of them if I were gone.

He rolled his eyes at me...and then with a teasing twinkle in his eye he said, "It'd be alright. I've never really loved you anyway." I proceeded to punch him. Hard. With knuckles. And giggles. He always gets me to giggle. It's one of the reasons I love him so much. The punk.

So, I'm off! If you think of it, pray for me and for my family while I'm away. Cuz, you know, I hold the whole place together when I'm home (insert chuckle and more eye rolling from hubby here).

I'm all ready for Seek The Lord Sunday, so I'll see you then :)