You Get What You Get, And You Don't Throw A Fit!
>> Saturday, August 16, 2008 –
Bible,
Clara,
Faith,
Lessons From Kids,
Seek The Lord Sunday
Happy weekend, everyone! I hope you're having a good one :)
This week, we're writing about a lesson we've learned recently. What has God been showing you...teaching you?
Personally, I learn a lot of God's lessons from my children. This week was no different. Clara, my 5 year old, taught me this important lesson.
For those of you with 5 year olds, you've probably heard, "It's not Faaaaair!" many times. I'm beginning to think it's about all she can say these days, and it is driving me positively crazy! I can't seem to do anything that's "fair" in her eyes. Someone always has more than her...more computer time, more snuggles, more ice cream, more books, more time with friends. Even I've begun to look at the world differently. As I'm dividing up the dessert into the kids' bowls, I'm thinking, "Okay, now will Clara think that this looks fair?"
Well, just a few days ago, it really came to a head. I gave the kids bowls of grapes as a snack. Knowing that Clara would immediately look at her bowl and compare it to the contents of her siblings' bowls and bellow, "Hey! They have more than me, that's not fair!", I actually counted the grapes as they went in the bowls. Yes, I counted them. Each and every bowl got exactly 15 grapes. Exactly.
And what did Clara think? You guessed it...not fair. I'd had it. My blood began to boil a bit after all my effort to make it not only fair, but precisely and exactly fair. I took a deep breath and said (I wish more calmly),
"Clara, it IS fair. It's perfectly fair. I counted the grapes and you have exactly as many grapes as your brother and sister. It only looks unfair to you because you automatically assume that it's not fair and that you're getting the short stick.
And do you know what else? When you are always looking at what other people have and wanting it for yourself....do you know what that's called? It's called coveting, my dear, and it's no good. In fact, God even talks about it in the Bible. He says we shouldn't do it. Do you know why? Because when you're so busy looking at someone else's stuff, you're too busy to enjoy the blessings sitting right in front of you. Like that bowl of grapes...they're delicious. Why don't you just look at that bowl, and say "YUM!", thank me for giving them to you, an enjoy them?!
And that reminds me...I am your Mommy, Clara. I love you very very much, and I always do things fairly. And if I don't? Well, then there's a darn good reason for it, and you're just going to have to trust me. Sometimes you just get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. NOW EAT YOUR 15 GRAPES!"
As you can imagine, she looked at me with those beautiful, wide, green eyes of hers. Then she looked at her bowl. Then she said, "yummy, thank you Mommy", and enjoyed the heck out of those grapes!
Of course, I had to apologize to her for getting so upset...but the lesson, it seemed to sink in a bit! And even more importantly, I learned a thing or two about coveting.
Logically...intelectually...I've always understood that we "shall not covet". I understood what coveting was and I could recognize it in my own life. But until that moment with my precious girl, I had never really grasped what it must do to God's heart when we covet. What a blessing it was to be taught that lesson.
In the spirit of really Seeking The Lord this Sunday, I've done a search of the Bible for some scripture that talks about coveting and, it's opposite, contentment. I found some interesting passages. First, the obvious:
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." Exodus 20:17
And then I found this one in Romans 13:9:
"The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself.""
This Romans passage really hit a nerve with me too, because it described another reason that Clara's coveting was so painful for me. Not only was she not enjoying her blessings and not trusting me...but she was wanting less for her brother and sister! As their Mommy, it always breaks my heart when they're not a team...when they're not rooting for each other....when they're not wanting the best for one another. And when Clara wanted what Ben had? She wanted more for herself and less for him. She was not loving him as herself.
And then there's Hebrews 13:5:
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.""
And Philippians 4:11-12:
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Now we're getting to the heart of it, aren't we? It all comes back to Him...it always does :) We are to avoid coveting, and choose contentment. But why? Because we have HIM. He will never leave us. He will never forsake us. And everything we need to do? We can do it through Him.
So really...what do we need to covet? We are complete in him. We are daughters and sons of the King of Kings...princesses and princes! So let's get to the business of enjoying our blessings and loving one another...really loving one another...even if it means that someone will end up with "more" and it won't be "fair".
P.S. I've written about contentment before. If you'd like to read that post, click HERE.
This week, we're writing about a lesson we've learned recently. What has God been showing you...teaching you?
Personally, I learn a lot of God's lessons from my children. This week was no different. Clara, my 5 year old, taught me this important lesson.
For those of you with 5 year olds, you've probably heard, "It's not Faaaaair!" many times. I'm beginning to think it's about all she can say these days, and it is driving me positively crazy! I can't seem to do anything that's "fair" in her eyes. Someone always has more than her...more computer time, more snuggles, more ice cream, more books, more time with friends. Even I've begun to look at the world differently. As I'm dividing up the dessert into the kids' bowls, I'm thinking, "Okay, now will Clara think that this looks fair?"
Well, just a few days ago, it really came to a head. I gave the kids bowls of grapes as a snack. Knowing that Clara would immediately look at her bowl and compare it to the contents of her siblings' bowls and bellow, "Hey! They have more than me, that's not fair!", I actually counted the grapes as they went in the bowls. Yes, I counted them. Each and every bowl got exactly 15 grapes. Exactly.
And what did Clara think? You guessed it...not fair. I'd had it. My blood began to boil a bit after all my effort to make it not only fair, but precisely and exactly fair. I took a deep breath and said (I wish more calmly),
"Clara, it IS fair. It's perfectly fair. I counted the grapes and you have exactly as many grapes as your brother and sister. It only looks unfair to you because you automatically assume that it's not fair and that you're getting the short stick.
And do you know what else? When you are always looking at what other people have and wanting it for yourself....do you know what that's called? It's called coveting, my dear, and it's no good. In fact, God even talks about it in the Bible. He says we shouldn't do it. Do you know why? Because when you're so busy looking at someone else's stuff, you're too busy to enjoy the blessings sitting right in front of you. Like that bowl of grapes...they're delicious. Why don't you just look at that bowl, and say "YUM!", thank me for giving them to you, an enjoy them?!
And that reminds me...I am your Mommy, Clara. I love you very very much, and I always do things fairly. And if I don't? Well, then there's a darn good reason for it, and you're just going to have to trust me. Sometimes you just get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. NOW EAT YOUR 15 GRAPES!"
As you can imagine, she looked at me with those beautiful, wide, green eyes of hers. Then she looked at her bowl. Then she said, "yummy, thank you Mommy", and enjoyed the heck out of those grapes!
Of course, I had to apologize to her for getting so upset...but the lesson, it seemed to sink in a bit! And even more importantly, I learned a thing or two about coveting.
Logically...intelectually...I've always understood that we "shall not covet". I understood what coveting was and I could recognize it in my own life. But until that moment with my precious girl, I had never really grasped what it must do to God's heart when we covet. What a blessing it was to be taught that lesson.
In the spirit of really Seeking The Lord this Sunday, I've done a search of the Bible for some scripture that talks about coveting and, it's opposite, contentment. I found some interesting passages. First, the obvious:
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." Exodus 20:17
And then I found this one in Romans 13:9:
"The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself.""
This Romans passage really hit a nerve with me too, because it described another reason that Clara's coveting was so painful for me. Not only was she not enjoying her blessings and not trusting me...but she was wanting less for her brother and sister! As their Mommy, it always breaks my heart when they're not a team...when they're not rooting for each other....when they're not wanting the best for one another. And when Clara wanted what Ben had? She wanted more for herself and less for him. She was not loving him as herself.
And then there's Hebrews 13:5:
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.""
And Philippians 4:11-12:
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Now we're getting to the heart of it, aren't we? It all comes back to Him...it always does :) We are to avoid coveting, and choose contentment. But why? Because we have HIM. He will never leave us. He will never forsake us. And everything we need to do? We can do it through Him.
So really...what do we need to covet? We are complete in him. We are daughters and sons of the King of Kings...princesses and princes! So let's get to the business of enjoying our blessings and loving one another...really loving one another...even if it means that someone will end up with "more" and it won't be "fair".
P.S. I've written about contentment before. If you'd like to read that post, click HERE.
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Well girl! It sounds like you handled it pretty darn well, as for you getting annoyed, remember you're only human :-)
Good for you! I have one of those "it's not fair" children as well, so it sounded just like your were describing my daughter as I read! With her the terrible two's still haven't ended...and now she's 11 heading into middle school (oh Lord, help!). With 4 kids "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" is a common phrase in our home too. She doesn't like that answer, but it's easy enough for her to understand that explanation whether or not she likes it.
I really love how you talk about how we understand what the commandments mean and what we should be doing, but sometimes it either doesn't process right, or because we're human, we make mistakes.
Thank you Daiquiri...I think I learned my lesson! And I'm alot older that 5! You taught a good lesson..& contentment also!!!
Isn't it crazy how we bend over backwards to be fair and then they catch us totally off guard! It's been a long time for me!
We All sometimes fail at loosing our cool but we have such a forgiving Father, who wants us to be disciplined...and that's what you did...with love...and firmness.
But mostly with FAIRNESS! You are sooo precius and your kiddos...so sweet and blessed by YOU! Again, A well written lesson that teaches even us big kids how to be content!
Can you imagine how our Heavenly Father looks at us? Shakes His head or does His blood boil too?
I love you and your lessons! Thanks! Be blessed as you bless us!
I'll be around to read others later!
Thanks for the invite. I linked up.
BTW, we say your title to this post often.
I just updated my post because of your comment and linked you.
What an amazing lesson for me as well. Thank you for your perspective!
Hello! It was really funny - Somehow I had never heard this little saying and on Saturday night I was driving somewhere with my 4 year old son and he starts saying from the backseat "you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit." I asked him about it and he told me the kids were saying it in his preschool room. I thought, hey that is pretty clever and oh so true! Then, on Sunday I see this entry in my Google Reader and just had to laugh! I guess the Lord really wanted me to think about this topic this weekend! Great post, thanks for the insight!
I visiting your blog for the first time from another blog and I know it was no accident I came here. I have a 5 yr old and deal with daily as well, it is sometimes nice to know that I am not in this alone. Thanks for sharing it did my heart good.
Hello CB!
We were just talking about coveting yesterday at the church picnic when one of my friend's children called her out because she was coveting... the Children's church teacher could not have been more proud, but then turned it around on her for not honoring her mother.
Another great topic!
Please count me in . . . even if I am a few days late . . . ;-)
Blessings all,
Linda
TO TRUST OR BUST, on NICKERS AND INK